Susan Patton may have been called “archaic” but she has an excellent point. Mrs. Patton has received lots of flack from feminists for her letter this past spring to the campus newspaper at her alma mater, Princeton University. Her advice for female students: “Find a husband on campus before you leave Princeton.”
“Smart women,” she continued, “can’t (shouldn’t) marry men who aren’t at least their intellectual equal,” and “you will never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who are worthy of you.”
Susan Patton knows whereof she speaks, because she followed this path. She was a member of Princeton’s first class of women in 1973. Now she’s got a great job and has raised two successful sons, one who graduated from Princeton and another a current student there.
At least on elite college campuses, women reject the notion that part of the purpose of college is to make progress toward getting your M-R-S degree. Young women surveyed at their sorority houses, in libraries and on athletic fields from all sorts of backgrounds are saying they don’t have time to look for a boyfriend, much less a husband. They’re too busy building their resumes.
Recently the NEW YORK TIMES published an article on the pervasive campus hook-up culture. The paper interviewed more than 60 women at the University of Pennsylvania over the course of a school year and found that: “Almost universally ….they did not plan to marry until their late 20’s or early 30’s.” Some wouldn’t mind having boyfriends, but many had hookup buddies, sexual partners with little emotional commitment. One attractive young woman spoke of doing a “cost-benefit” analysis that led her to decide that hooking up held a lower risk and lower investment cost than pursuing a relationship that might lead to marriage.
One other reason university women gave for postponing serious relationships was they wanted to see how men turn out after they’ve gone through their 20’s. They figure that, by then, a guy’s goals will be fixed and they’re more likely to be a stable partner.
Some of this — except the hook-up part — makes common sense, or at least financial sense. Divorce rates are lower among these better-established couples. That’s great unless you miss the boat — or the chance to get married. Or find yourself “on the wrong side of the fertility curve.”
Susan Patton’s letter and subsequent book deal prompted Newsweek/the Daily Beast to publish a surprising piece (for them) — Megan Mc Ardle’s article entitled “What Are You Waiting For: The Many Cases For Getting Married Young.”
She points out that, “Marriage used to be the event that marked your passage into adulthood—the cornerstone of an adult life. Now it’s the capstone, the last thing you do after all the other foundations are in place.” It’s one reason birthrates are down. The hook-up phenomenon is devastating. On balance, this trend toward ever-later marriage costs too much.