A recent study of U.S. census data shows that the cohabitation rate is no longer growing. The Wall Street Journal recently reported, “The decadeslong climb in the share of American couples living together outside of marriage has come to a halt.”  The phenomenon was known as shacking up when it took hold in the 60’s. By the early 90’s, around 60 percent of couples who were getting married had cohabited first. From 1990 to 2000, there was a 72 percent increase in couples living together.    But between 2000 and 2010, the cohabitation rate stalled out.

I’d love to read into this that perhaps we’re getting back to traditional family values, marriage, and even, dare I suggest it, chastity. But Journal writer Neil Shah attributed the change to the recession which, he wrote, “drove many young Americans to live with their parents and may have made living with romantic partners more expensive.”

Russell Moore, PhD. is the new President of the Southern Baptist Convention’s Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission. He concedes the problem may be with the “leave” part of the Genesis mandate to leave father and mother and “cleave” to a spouse. But he thinks there’s more to it

The Ohio State University sociologist who conducted this study also suggested that since cohabitation is now commonplace, it brings with it “expectations and norms,” that discourage young men and women.

Dr. Moore’s reaction was, “So even living together, with no covenant of permanence, is seen as too repressive and stifling?” “Not good news,” he wrote, “when the replacement is even more transient sexual encounters.”

But Dr. Moore does see an opportunity here for the church to  “reclaim the mystery of marriage.” He suggests that this study, and other indicators, show that perhaps Americans are getting bored (italics mine) with the sexual revolution. Maybe, he says, “it’s time for the revolutionaries to rebel again.” Get back to marrying. Marriage and family, including faithfulness in marriage and chastity outside of it, are actually fulfilling and enriching. God created them and they’re where we flourish — a picture of the union between Christ and His church.

Many studies show that couples who cohabit are more likely to divorce. In a report titled Sliding v. Deciding, Dr. Scott Stanley provides a good explanation for this. He describes the differences in the process by which cohabiting and non-cohabiting couples enter into marriage. Many cohabiting couples kind of slide toward marriage. It just sort of happens to them. They’ve been together for awhile and it seems like the logical next step. Dr. Moore’s “boring” is a good description for this process.

On the other hand, non-cohabiting couples make progressive choices to increase their commitment to their beloved. They decide to move from casual dating to exclusive dating, then to engagement, and then — to marriage.  Because they have made conscious choices instead of letting things just “happen”, they are more satisfied with the result.

Compared with cohabitation, the anticipation and excitement for marriage is anything but boring.